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Do you really even care?

Do you really even care?

Goonj Aeran

In the picture that’s my lovely daughter Goonj Aeran. She is going to be 6 years very soon.

She turns from a sophisticated princess to a mad monster right in a flick.

Right, when I conceived I started reading and searching every little thing about caring for a child.

I am still reading and learning a lot on how to handle things with her and its a continuous process.

As a mother, I am also 6 years old or 6 years young. There are days when she is really very stubborn and then there are days when she is awesomely sweet and innocent.

I am a mother and one thing I know now is I am raising a human being. Raising her has made me know myself. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses.

Earlier, I used to think – I very much know what being a parent means.

As a parent, you want to and you do the best for your child.

Whenever I get a chance I make sure to cuddle with her, give her hugs and kisses. But, sometimes I completely use to “lost it” very often and screamed at her, yell at her as a frustrated mom would do.

I have done almost everything right from bribing a candy or chocolate and threatening her in a public place to be a disciplined child.

I pleaded I have ordered, I have tried to control her, I have begged her to sleep when I’m tired of all I wanted was her cooperation.

I really fear those days when none of the above would work. What if she stops respecting me? What if she stops listening to me? What if she might even stop coming back to me. I fear the days when nothing works for me. So how would I raise a capable, positive and successful person?

Then what I started reading, searching, and gathering information. And during this search, I came across small bits of information and theories that suggested there is a LOT I have been missing out on. There is a LOT more to parenting I know. These theories, articles, case studies present the idea that parenting is not to take control over your child’s life, creating a bond with them will be a lot more helpful.

Most of the schools that practice this thought process follow that, there is no need to punish a child ever. Once you give them respect, you will gain it back. The bond, the relationship you build today with your child can travel a long way to the difficult years of teenage and far beyond.

One thing I know now that Parenting is more about building character, (your own as well as your child’s) than about discipline. And on and on.

All of them would lead to one endpoint – that you have a better chance of raising a wonderful person with just one single change in your own character, attitude, and perception than with any other form of discipline rule.

Are you SERIOUS ?

Yes

So, I started looking at my relationship with my daughter. I started checking the patterns of me scolding her, getting mad at her. Slowly, I noticed one major problem that these patterns were like waves. My ups and downs were totally reflecting in her replies or talks to others.

I wanted to CHANGE. I picked few quick parenting tips, applied them. And they did work, almost but soon I almost got back to my traditional being.

Old habits won’t bring new results.

I wanted to make something for the long term, something which is sustainable. Something which could stay.

if you have reached till here that means you really CARE.

As I was thinking too much about it, I decided to break the pattern and started controlling myself. If I was trying a new technique or tip I was practicing it for at least 30 days as “it takes 30 days to make or (break) a habit”. Whatever happens, I have to follow it. Eventually, I should be able to reach where I want to be. Right?

It’s been a while now that I have changed my and my daughter’s behavior and the relationship between us. I still “lose it” but don’t get mad or a crazy parent like earlier.

If you’ve read this far, I’m guessing that at least some part of my story resonates with you.

Yes you are not alone.

These small tips really help. The only thing that matter is how much we want them to help us.

A small change in our own attitude and behavior can help a lot, really. I will be bringing some short videos and more blogs. This will be on various topics related to kids, their health, their concerns, our mental health, our concerns for kids, and much more.

I want to make a community through this blog where everyone can share their views and concerns about parenting.

if you are mother you are an Inspiration and so do the millions of mothers around you.

Great parents are made and not born. Do you all agree?

I am planning to write more on this blog and keep sharing as I want to bring together all the parents from different walks of life. We have one common goal as a parent – To slowly become a better person and raise a successful human being and bring out the best parent hidden within us.

Join Us in the Journey. Share your views about this blog by commenting or writing a mail @ monicaaeran@gmail.com

It’s a monumental journey we are on, and you will not regret being a part of this beautiful community!

Cheers

Monica Aeran

Getting Pregnant

Getting Pregnant

This is new for you. It’s never too early to start preparing for both birth and motherhood. Read More, learn more as much as you can now, it will help you feel more confident in making decisions. You should be selecting your hospital, healthy eating and exercising, what is best for you and your baby, and finding a childbirth education class.

Positive Habits

Getting Pregnant is a beautiful and excellent time to prioritize taking the best care of yourself. It is really important to imbibe positive habits to ensure the best health for you and your developing baby. Becoming a mother takes your attention towards positive habits like healthy eating, plenty of water and fluids intake, yoga classes or exercise regularly, and don’t forget to get plenty of rest—you’re now sustaining a new life and preparing for the big day of childbirth. It would be too early but you should also prepare yourself mentally for labor and new life of motherhood. Read or watch things that make you feel positive and energetic about your upcoming birth, for example, dance videos, childbirth education, birth documentaries such as The Business of Being Born, YouTube clips, and stories from family/friends. Most importantly, enjoy quality time with your family. This is your time. Get pampered by your partner and family. Now is the time to strengthen relationships with your partner, children, and other close relationships in your life.

Childbirth Education

For the first time parents, Childbirth education classes (online or offline) are a great idea. A helpful refresher even for those who have already experienced childbirth and parenting. By attending these classes you inculcate skills to facilitate a healthy, happy pregnancy and birth and a positive and bond of love and care amongst partners. Most hospitals offer classes for expectant parents, but they often cover only information about hospital procedures and what to expect. You may want to explore additional options to ensure you get the full range of information you need to make informed decisions throughout pregnancy and birth.

A good class should give you an overview of your options and be realistic about the kind of experience you may have. It should review the stages of labor and teach you pain management skills and breathing techniques. And it should include every possible scenario, “not just what the hospital is offering.” Most of all, the class should mirror your own philosophies and desires.

Your midwife can also give recommendations for breastfeeding and parenting classes in your area to help get you off to a strong start as a new mom.

Writing Your Birth Plan

There will be a lot of your loved ones to give you advice, suggestions, and recommendations about the new welcome. But a birth plan may be a written statement of your desires and what’s important to you once you are pregnant and ready to learn new things. A birth plan describes the experience you hope to possess, and therefore the ways you would like support or help from those that are caring for you. It can include an outline of your ideal labor and birth, also as things such as:

  • It can be totally your choice of labor room companions, including the participation of family and siblings
  • Pain management preferences
  • Medical procedures
  • Care immediately about your birth
  • Newborn care and procedures
  • Infant feeding preference and process
  • Preferences just in case of a non-emergency cesarean birth
  • Religious, cultural, or other beliefs
  • Your choice of contraception for after the birth

A birth plan will assist you to study your choices, and it helps you share your goals for your labor and birth with those that are caring for you during labor. once you work on a birth plan together with your provider, you share thoughts and concepts, which can help develop trust.

Avoiding Cesarean Birth

A cesarean birth may be a surgery done to deliver your baby by an incision in your uterus through your abdomen. Cesarean birth carries tons of additional risks for the mother and baby, and for a woman’s future pregnancies. childbirth is far and away from the safest for many women and their babies.

You are much more likely to possess health problems after a cesarean than after childbirth. These include severe bleeding, infection, more pain, more difficulty establishing breastfeeding, a good range of complications from the surgery, and extended recovery time. Having a cesarean also can cause you to possess health problems later.

For these reasons, a cesarean should be done as long as it’s needed to guard your health or your baby’s health.

For all these reasons, a cesarean should be done only if it is needed to protect your health or your baby’s health. View tips for avoiding a cesarean birth here.

Waiting for Baby’s Arrival

One of the toughest realities to simply accept during pregnancy is that your baby is extremely unlikely to change state on your “due date.” actually, only about 5% of babies arrive on their mother’s estimated maturity, and it’s quite common for babies to arrive after the maturity. Not knowing exactly when your baby is going to be born can make planning for important things like work, social events, and out-of-town visitors difficult. But the inconvenience of not knowing is well worthwhile for the health of you and your baby.

While being finished with pregnancy could seem tempting during that previous couple of weeks, artificially starting labor for nonmedical reasons is linked to increased risks including premature, cesarean surgery and infection.

Easing the Transition to Motherhood

The first month’s reception after your baby is born are often a quiet, gentle time of going to know this new one that has come to measure in your home. except for most girls, it’s not all quiet or sweet. And for a few women, it’s a really hard time. Tips for alleviating the transition include:

  • Get someone (partner, parent, friend) to require care of you and your other children for a minimum of 2 weeks after the birth. you’ll got to have backup plans for care just in case your baby arrives earlier or later than expected.
  • Consider cooking meals ahead of time and freezing them for later use.
  • Familiarize yourself with breastfeeding resources in advance.
  • talk to your friends, family, or a service to take care of your pets.
  • Ask your doctor for advice on parenting and transitioning your other children to a household with a new baby.
  • Decide whether or not you will return to work and arrange for infant feeding needs and childcare. Sometimes returning to work can be the hardest time for both moms and partners. It helps to discuss with your partner in advance how to handle childcare and household roles and responsibilities.
  • Getting rest can be difficult. If at all possible, sleep when your baby sleeps.