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How Saying Good Jobs Could Make Anyone a Better Parent

How Saying Good Jobs Could Make Anyone a Better Parent

Do You appreciate your child?  

Do you praise your child?  

Of course you do that right? Every parent does that. You will ask me, is there anything wrong in that? 

No, there is nothing wrong in it but correct way of praising is important. 

Now, what is correct way of praising a child? 

During pandemic most of us are working from home. Imagine you are busy in your work and you are really into it. Suddenly your child comes to you asking how is this?   

He has drawn something on a sheet of paper on his own and really excited to show it to you. 

You are really busy in your work and the child keeps asking, tell me dad how is this or tell me mom how is this. Look here mom please.  

You have to look at your child and give him/her an answer. You turn your face for a second and say…

Every day we hear all sorts of questions from our kids like how is my drawing mama? Isn’t it beautiful? See How well I have drawn this picture? How did I do It? 

Yes, all sorts of 1000s of questions, which must be answered.

Please be ready I am going to b quiet straight forward here.  

You would say. Nice. Good job. 

Isn’t it? I guess I heard a yes or may be it’s my inner voice. 

See We all love our children , we praise them, we appreciate them just to see that beautiful smile on their faces. 

I know what you must be thinking, what’s the problem in appreciating our own children ?  

There is no problem in that, but I feel, good job is a very lazy Praise or I Would say it’s a bad praise. 

Come on, we are in 2021 guys, kids are smarter than us. They don’t just want to hear a good job from us, they already know about it. When we say good job we feel that we are boosting up their self-esteem. Well,  because we are not specifically telling them what is so good in that job that they have done. 

They will never get to know what is it that they have to do in order to hear a good job again from us in future. 

Confused? Let me simplify it for u. 

Next time your child wins the cricket match, please don’t say a good job. Just tell him, you did wonderful fielding.

If your child shows a certain drawing, then tell him, how well he has done the coloring in it. 

Be specific. And if you still want to be lazy, then make sure you at least say, “great efforts my dear” Because by saying great efforts you are conveying a message that they have taken a step towards trying and putting efforts. 

A lot of research has been done in child psychology. By reading some of the beautiful work I have understood, appreciation should be avoided in areas where a child has no control like God-gifted aspects – beauty, intelligence, and being artistic.

Rather, we should praise them for their generosity, efforts, compassion, respect for others, love, focus, discipline, quick decision-making, and not being lazy.

For example, next time tell them, you were so focused when you were playing this game or putting a lot of effort into keeping your things organized. Or maybe, you were so generous for sharing toys with your sister. 

There is one more way to praise your child.

Ask them how did they feel after doing certain work. Allow them to decide for themselves how do they feel about their accomplishments. Let them reward themselves. 

Please delete the words, “good job” from your vocabulary. And when next time you praise your child explaining what good they have done then you can actually feel proud of yourself, pat your back, and say to yourself … what? Good Job. 

Please try this technique next time. 

Don’t praise your child for the work they have done, rather, praise their efforts in doing that work. 

Let me know what difference you felt after changing your way of praising.

I hope this helps you as it is helping me. This is it on this topic from my side. Keep praising correctly. Stay Calm, stay positive and I will be back with a new blog. 

Cheers

Monica Aeran

5 Best Parenting Tips

5 Best Parenting Tips

When you’re dealing with young children, there is one thing that tested almost every day – your patience. To save yourself from losing it as well as your energy, try to look at each difficult situation with fresh eyes. Learn when to walk away and always choose your battles with your kids.

Follow these 5 Best Parenting Tips – They might just help save the day!

Mind your response

Keep in mind that you should only control what you can – and that is how you respond to any situation. When your little one does something not ideal, don’t let emotions get in the way. This will only result in overly-harsh punishments that will be hard on you both.
It’s not about how much your punishment inconveniences your child, it’s about consistency. Don’t worry about being predictable, consistent punishments work even if your child doesn’t act as it affects him. Focus on your response, not theirs.

Know when to walk away

When your little one breaks a rule, give the punishment and simply walk away. Don’t let an argument start because that’s when the power struggle that takes all your energy and patience away begins.
The less you react, the more it will show your child that you no longer tolerate arguing and backtalk. When you walk away from a power struggle, you take away their power.

Cooldown

When you’re starting to feel angry and frustrated, take a deep breath and walk it off. Take some time to let the frustration die down and allow your child to do the same. When both of your heads are cool, this allows for a calmer conversation that’s more effective and productive.

Tackle one issue at a time

You’re mad about chores, school, and your child’s general behaviour. But if you’re going to scold them, don’t mention everything all at once. This will only overwhelm the both of you and won’t lead to positive behavioral changes in your child.
Instead, tackle one issue at a time and try to discuss it as calmly as possible. Don’t forget to listen to what your child has to say!

Be a role model

Did you know that kids watch what we do more than they listen to what we say? Exhibit good behavior that you want to see in your kids, especially when it comes to values.

Parenting is hard but oh-so-worth-it. Practice these best parenting tips that just might help save your day!

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