Hey, are you a Positive parent?
Are you a positive person?
No, I did not mean COVID positive. I know this pandemic has changed the meaning of being positive.
I am going to share 8 simple techniques to maintain positive discipline with kids.
But before knowing the positive parenting tips we should answer one question.
What is bad parenting? What is negative parenting?
To read about it in detail you should visit my blog often as I keep posting about such topics.
To start today’s post I would like to share a simple observation where we keep branding our child with different names per se you are a naughty child, you are a bad child.
Don’t brand your child with these negative names. It puts really a negative impact on the child’s brain.
So, what should we do to bring positive discipline into our lives?
Here is a mini parenting guide for you that brings light to Positive Parenting Techniques.
- Appreciate: We need a lot of positive behavior around us. Who does not like appreciation? Even if we are adults, we love to hear appreciating words or some kind of recognition. So is with the kids, our kids love appreciation when they achieve something. It is their first time to experience something so please try to avoid small mistakes. Don’t discourage or scold them for small mistakes rather we should appreciate them for their smallest of efforts. This will give them courage and motivate them to try new things.
- Treat the Cause: It is so natural that we directly jump to the consequence or the result. But with kids, we should always try to find out the root cause. For example, if the kid is clinging to us and not leaving us at all, sometimes we even look for those peaceful 5 minutes which we eventually find in our washrooms. Have we ever thought of the cause for it? When I talked to myself about finding the cause I found that I have been busy at my work the whole day and could not give time to my little one. Find out the reason and try to solve the root problem. Instead of yelling you need to dig in deep and find the cause.
- Kids Love rewards: Even a simple star cutout or a smiley face sticker counts for your young ones. Achievements need to be recognized. Hard work pays off. Good behavior also needs to be rewarded. I know it can add a little work to your already exhausting schedule but this is creating a positive environment around you. Your kid has tried out something new and wants to be rewarded. There’s no harm if rewards bring joy and positivity. Once rewarded your child will try to achieve more and next time you can raise the bar.
- Remove Shame from making Mistakes: When we do something wrong, we gain something – Experience. So is with kids, don’t yell or laugh at their small mistakes. Especially the first mistakes. If we make fun of them for doing mistakes, they will never try new things ever. To make a mistake positive you can try laughing at your own mistake. If you spill the water (by mistake), smile or laugh at yourself saying “Oops I spilled the water”. Remember, our kids copy us. They do not have to feel shameful about their mistakes, they are learning with each of them.
Before jumping to another set of 4 techniques on Positive Discipline Please watch this video for your recap.
- Use Time Out: Every parent has a connection with their kids. There are times when your kid is not happy with you or you are annoyed with them. That is the time for the child and you to go in the “thinking room”. But there has to be a time out. If you both are in your thinking space, remember to talk to your child. It can be 1 hour or even more but there has to be a time out and ensure you talk to your child about how he/she felt? Did it matter to them? They should know that thinking time is going to end and you will be talking to them about what happened. It is not endless.
- Mean what you say: It is really important to mean what you say. So, if you say no, stick to it. No, don’t be harsh or rude to them but set your rules and stick to them. You have to be sensitive to their feelings along with making them understand your rules. As I always say kids follow you and they observe you a lot, you have to maintain your discipline first. If you are breaking your own rules, you cannot expect your child to follow them.
- Use Positive language: Once you know what is negative language and its impact on your life you will start using positive language and follow the rule. Using positive language is quite simple and impactful. For instance, instead of saying don’t watch TV, you should say switch off the TV. Instead of saying don’t walk barefoot you can easily say wear your footwear and let’s walk. I remember one thing from the book “The Secret” and that stuck to me like the glue that is we attract positivity from the universe if we use positive language or positive behavior.
- Take out “Me Time”: This is the most important thing I do and I recommend to all the parents is to take out time for yourself. Being positive always is not easy, being disciplined is not easy. It is something for which we have to come out of our comfort zone. Practicing positive discipline can be really hard, time-consuming, and energy-consuming. We have to train our brains to do something which is not easy. Obviously, yelling and getting things done is easier rather than waiting calmly for our kids to understand things. It has taken all your energy and efforts to be that parent that you want to be. So, you need to give yourself a break for some time. Take out time for yourself, just you. It can be, exercising, your skincare, go out or talk with adults where you do not have to train them or discipline them, sleep, or whatever. Find your me time after a lot of hard work of discipline.